http://femdom101.blogspot.com/2010/06/note-for-2bsubby.html

Look at the link then come back.

Ok.

Did you read it? Great.

Now I have made my feelings on children in WLM known, and yes I understand that 2bsubby's children and not kids. But Kathy herself admits they are not quite adults either. In fact a 17 year old is still a minor. Be it 17 or 20 these are times in a boy/man's life that they need a father to help them with new adult issues that they may have never faced before.

I honestly believe that if the woman you want to submit to does not accept the fact that your kids come first. If they are hers as well or the result of another marriage, that she does not deserve your submission. It would be a different with true adults, but honestly if my own son called to me for help I'm going 40 or 4, and I don't give a damn what anybody has to say about it.

Is it to much to ask that his wife be informed of his children's visits? No of course not, but seeking permission for what should be automatically assumed is selfish and petty on her part. As a mother herself she should understand the importance of a child/parent relationship, and the importance of a child feeling welcomed in his or hers parents house.

Zipper

Sorry to all of you for being away for so long, I have picked up project from a co-worker that was in shambles and I have to work 3rd shift on it to boot. But here is a quick post just to show all of you I'm not dead.

So the other day while listening to a national early morning radio show, I caught a snippet of a a story told by comedian Tommy Johnagin. He talk about meeting up with a woman for a one nightstand, little did he know that she had more on her mind than just sex. This woman was obviously dominate and enjoyed biting choking and bondage, not to mention plain unpredictability. But what really interested me was her tattoo.

I think most people who read this blog understand the importance of a safe word. They can be a special thing between, like in almost any relationship safe words can become an inside joke, adds to the bond between two people. Of course they can also be the punchline of somebodies joke as in this case.

In the case of this woman her tattoo is not really anything to joke about. She has a zipper tattooed along the side of her ribcage, to commemorate the death of her boyfriend, her submissive. People tend to think only of a sub physically and permanently altering their appearance, but this time a dominate women carries the mark and shows just how deep a D/s relationship can go.

Jr. High

Way back then Junior High was important time in my life. First kiss, rated R movie, cooking for myself with more than a microwave, first date, first love, first heart break, and so less than pure firsts. Impure for lack of a better term, first wet dream, and first masturbation, witch put not surprisingly put an end to the wet dreams.

It was also when my first submissive feelings started to come out. I couldn't put a word to it then, and even now it takes me more than just one. I knew that I liked to fantasize about demanding women, spanking, and scarily (at the time) humiliation. These thoughts intensified the last summer before high school.

That summer I went to high school band camp (please no American Pie comments) where I and every other freshman was hazed. This was not Dazed and Confused hazing, there was no paddling or binge drinking. Most of it was mundane things like taking your assigned senior bags to their rooms, but one tradition that of a night of humiliating dress up. My assigned senior was a young woman, and she dressed me like a lot of male freshmen as a slutty girl.

Now I'm not a cross dresser, but a woman forcing me to do something that I can get behind. But as fourteen year old boy how was I to express or even understand these feelings. Sex Ed was functional to be nice about it, and my parents were no help, I never had "The Talk" they happily passed it of to the school.

So as my own son grows I'm left wondering and hoping that I can do a better job. I want him to be able to ask me anything and get a frank honest answerer, but I want to protect my wife's and my privacy. I want him to learn about sex in a healthy way, and then learn about all the different kinds of sex. I don't want him to be to losses his virginity to early or late, or have kids before he is ready.

I am left wondering how are children to suppose to learn safely what it is that they want in a partner. The Internet making information easily available but at the price of not knowing the person you are getting it from. Good websites are easy to find but none deal with sexual practices. Even today what is a young man to do?

Care

The cold hard Mistress is a staple of many men's submissive fantasies. But in reality nobody really wants an ambivalent women to be submissive to. Its called Loving Female Authority and the loving part is every bit as important as the authority part. After a session with my wife either discipline, tease and denial, etc I need some aftercare. Aftercare is one of those things that I can't see a cold hearted women doing this.

Aftercare takes many forms, tending to wounds, sleeping, holding one another, and talking. From my own experience I know that I have a submissive high for a few hours after a rough session in the bedroom. I can go about my normal routines with no problems, but then I drop. Usually this happens in the middle of the night, I will wake up and request my wife to hold on to me, something that she has never refuse or been upset about.

My wife as my loving dominant and owner of my sex takes her responsibility for my well being seriously. But Aftercare is not limited to the submissive, I take equal care of my wife and I too take it seriously. A big part of this in the early part of our FLR was reassurance that that we loved each other, that we respected each other, and that our relationship while changed was strong.

Aftercare is not something that is fantasized as often as the cold hard woman up top. The same way that cuddling is not the hot topic of fantasy. But these things are important, they keep people mentally and physically in shape. Kissing, whipping, sex, discipline, these things may begin bonding a couple, but it is the care that comes after that cements the relationship.

The Buck Stops Here

"Honey I need $120 out of our discretionary fund."

"Why?"

"I need a new pair of boots for works."

"They reimburse you for those don't they?"

"Only $100 of it, but I always put it back into our account."

"That's right well if you need them you need them, just make sure you put it back in."

Some may wonder why I refer to it as "our" money and not "Her" money. While my wife is most certainly the boss, and has final say over how the money is spent, we both agree that my keeping the books is the best way for her to mange our marriage. What happens is that I make sure all bills are paid on time, this includes retirement savings, what's left is up to my wife to decide how it is spent. We go over all of the paper work together, she having already looked at the bank statements, to check on my activity.

Another reason I use "our" is that it fosters a since of ownership in the relationship. The same way employees refer to there store, or office when in reality its more the property of the shareholders, or the children of the founders. A since of ownership is important as it increases loyalty, if you don't believe that just ask any sports fan about their team.

Finally as a practical measure if something were to ever happen to my wife it may prove crucial that I have access to all of our funds. While many a submissive man may fantasize about complete financial domination this is horribly unpractical. What they may not understand is that if all assets are in their wife's name, and she were to pass away suddenly it could take months for probate to be worked out especially if she did not leave a will that stipulates her husband is to inherit her possessions. These problems can be compounded if there are children from previous marriage.

Your Daughter ?!?

How does your wife train you? Really how does your wife try and help you to be the kind of man she wants/knows you can be? If your wife or dominant partner is like mine some part of training is the use of sex. For my part I have no problem with this. In fact I love that she has locked my sex away for her use, and that she has taken the time to understand and accept my submissive nature, more importantly for her own happiness she has embrace her own dominant side.

It seems like the longer that I read other peoples blogs about female led relationships the more they begin to stray into female supremacy. I know I have posted on this before an I will do my best to make this the last time for a good while. I was reading about a "heated discussion" should a father submit to his adult daughter. My immediate answer is no.

Above I stated that my wife and many like he use sex as part of husband training. A man is trained to associate sex with serving a powerful women specifically his wife or partner. Now I don't think that anyone is the female supremacy movement is promoting incest but the fact is that it becomes hard to disconnect once an association is made. One more reason that female supremacy just seems wrong.

Instead I would suggest that a female led marriage like any other should be kept private. Not out of shame but for the simple reason that it is nobody else business what goes on in your relationship. While it is nice to have friends who enjoy the same lifestyle as you do, your children are not your friends, and even with other couples who enjoy FLR, how much control does one wife allow another to have over their husband?

I know that in my own marriage we are friends with one other couple who enjoy a loving female authority. While I am expected to be a courteous host or guest with them by no means does my wife expect me to submit to the other women in anyway. I am expected to act the way my wife wants, respectful of her, and by extension polite to everyone we are social with.

Most Beautiful

Is it just me or are women at there most beautiful when they are creating life. I'm not a female supremacist but it just puts me in submissive awe and makes me want to worship the fertility of women.

Exposure

Tears roll down my face, gently she pulls me to my feet, I am to torn down to be ashamed of my nudity before her gaze. She lays me down next to her in bed and wraps her arms around me pulling my head to her breast. Shortly she tugs up her shirt and I feel her soft breast against my face and her nipple begins to harden in my mouth. She knows what I need, and understands enough to give it to me at vulnerable moments such as these.

Wife Lead Marriage necessitates a certain amount of vulnerability on the part of the man. To begin with even bringing the subject to you partner is scary, a man does not want to appear weak, or silly, or worse perverted. For some there is a strong submissive sexual component that he fears may very well turn his partner off.

Beyond this however requires a much deeper exposure to your dominate wife. For the rest of my life (I hope) my lovely wife will control my sex. She has control of my body as well as my mind much more strongly than anyone else has ever been able to claim. Besides this she offers me discipline, and with it pain, she grants many of my kinkiest requests, and with them pain and pleasure, in short the whole of my mind and body is open to her. In every day life I am expected to share information with her, she likes to know everything about my day, all of my financial doings, and whatever I am thinking and feeling at the time. As a man sharing like this is not second nature and it takes effort to be this open, but I am happier for it.

Being made vulnerable in this way does not mean that I am weaker for it. In fact it is very freeing for me unlike so many other men I have nothing to hide from my Wife, I no longer have anything to be ashamed of as all my desires have been laid bare. Years ago when I took the first step and admitted to her that I wanted to submit, to serve, and ultimately to have my sex organs shackled, a weight fell from my shoulders.

Of course there are so many more emotions involved, and being opened by my loving and wonderful Wife forces me to experience them much more deeply. Not only am I no longer burdened by having to hide my submissive nature from my wife, but I also must verbalize what I am feeling. She likes to hear how I feel she wants to know if what we are doing is having the desired affect on me, if I am experiencing what she intends me to feel. She knows that by carefully analyzing what I feel that she can gain better control and increase her own pleasure. After a spanking do I feel ashamed, remorseful, or thankful, and excited, or aroused, when bound am I frightened, excited, or peaceful. Of course she also monitors my sexual feelings closely, am I frustrated, and need to be released, or can I be pushed further into submission before the returns to her diminish, do I need to sleep, be held, or simply left alone after an intense sexual and possibly kinky play period.

Because I share all of this with her we are brought closer together. Being exposed to my wife, made vulnerable to her emotionally opens up communication between us, no longer do either of us need to awkwardly ask "was it good for you?" instead we know that it was, or wasn't in some cases. I can talk about problems at work and no longer fear upsetting my wife, do I need to be held, or hold her not a problem either. Its not just about cold clinical safety of S&M, or even about fun kinky humiliation, while it is both of those more importantly Exposure is about a happier marriage.

Image

Gynarchy, Female Supremacy, Matriarchy or whatever you want to call it has a visible presence in the world takes in no small part to the Internet, and to me that is a shame. The reason is simple, as I have said in the two previous post I have serious problems with the the people and principals of those who attempt to further female world domination/male enslavement.
To many this is a fantasy, and that is fine so long as they make it known that it is, the problem is those who honestly hold these misguided beliefs. The shame comes in because there is so much crossover between kink, and Gynarchy, and at home Loving Female Authority. The portrayals of S&M in the media are bad enough. The seedy club in Single White Female visited by the insane Ellen/Hedy, 8mm depicting people interested in kink as synonymous with pedophiles, not to mention any number of news programs/magazines articles/specials that allow the so called normal people to gawk at the kinky zoo animals.
Now for the consumption of the masses is Gynarchy, how would the average person react that idea? The idea of a world where women live a life of luxury and power by virtue of there gender while men live as slaves, not house husbands, not simply denied access to political power, or education or certain jobs, but slaves. Where men would be forcibly castrated, euthanized, and as one group seems to suggest made to drink menstrual fluid to remind all men of there bloody violent past. The answer is that it would not be accepted well, and as they say one bad apple spoils the whole bunch. Gynarchy sill spoil the chances for those men who ware Chastity Belts, and give over themselves to serving the woman in there life, or the woman who feels she is her masters slave, or the outwardly "normal" couple who also likes to swing at ever being accepted for what they are people who chose to live a different lifestyle that in the end effects no one else.
I am not saying that those who hold female supremacy beliefs should not be allowed that freedom what I am saying is that the rational kinky community, and those of us who gladly server our partners out of love and a genuine desire for there guidance/discipline/ control, should work to separate ourselves from Gynarchy. The same way any two groups that to the outsider would appear similar tries to distinguish themselves from one another. Let those who want to forward the goals of Gynarchy hitch the wagon themselves. For those of use in FLM, while we should embrace our brothers and sisters in other kinky relationships let us shun those people who, in all honesty, harm our own acceptance in the main stream.

Not A Solution

Not a solution, and I mean it. There seems to be this mystical belief that woman would naturally be better custodians of the world. That war, would soon cease after the world domination of women, that pollution would cease, and crime would be lowered do to the enslavement, or ensexment as some would call it of men. I summit to you that this is not the case.

In my last post I gave a detailed argument as to why Gynarchy in a bid for world domination could not simply live in peace. Even if woman somehow did take control of the world I believe that they would never live in peace. A large contingent of men would still retain military and police training. Take for example North Korea, the Worker-Peasant Red Guard (Equivalent to the USA National Guard) is comprised of over 3.5 million men. This group is organized at local levels, and in small groups, which train in village sized forces making its members the perfect base for a guerrilla movement there.
Aside from the men in the world women are still capable of violence of violent actions. If one or more regions of the world could not compromise with others there is only one way to resolve the problem. Even within its own territory government uses violence to coerce its populace into following the law. Some of my readers may remember the tragedy of the Branch Davidian compound in 1993, the tragedy occurred not because of the war like nature of man, but because a group was thought to braking the law, and when they refused to cooperate with the authorities, violence ensued. In the end they were left with only one choice arrest or death, unfortunately they chose death. This may seem an overly simple explanation for what went on but the fact is that when the government wants something to happen inside or outside of its territory either the parties involved have to back down, or resort to violence, and for some people some of the time backing down is just not an option.

What of the natural world some would say certainly the caring mother of our children would be a better custodian of the plants and animals. Well no matter who is in charge People will still need power, farmers will still need chemicals because there will still be to many people to feed with out them. Water will still be needed in the desert, flood control will still be needed in the wetlands. The cultural needs of societies who engage in ritual hunts, or eating will still need be met risking violence otherwise. Would someone please tell me how women in sole control of the world would change any of this anymore than men being the dominant sex would?

The fact is that the problems of the world or not the sole property of men, nor are there solutions the sole property of women. To whip a horse that is dead or at least dangerously close to becoming so, two heads are better than one. So excluding anyone from the problem solving process makes no since. Once again I am calling out to anyone that will hear, Female Lead Marriage/Relationships in the home great, equality outside of it, necessary, preferable, and right.

Gynarchy?

I do not want to alienate any of my great readers but something has been eating at me for a few years now and I want to address it before I go any further.
Female Supremacy,gynarchy,matriarchy, or gynecocracy what ever you want to call it. This is something that some people are serious about, I think it hurts Female Lead Marriage as a lifestyle, and the kink community in general. I don't believe in it,I don't see it as a cure all for the worlds problems, and I doubt that it is a workable government, at the global, national level or even in a large community. While I do feel that many men if not all of them would benefit form FLM at home it must be consensual, otherwise being dominated even from birth breads resentment. This is going to be the first of three posts on this subject starting with why I feel that large scale matriarchy would not be a stable or long lasting goverment.

Gynarchy is not workable as a governmental policy for any number of reasons. The most glaring problem is that no one person, or group that I have been able to find has any plan on how to establish it in the open minded United States let alone more closed minded countries. I don't mean simple goals, or how it will work once established, but a step by step plan from now until firm control has been maintained for sometime.
To begin with they would have to get better than a majority of women to agree to this and better than a majority of men. There are roughly three hundred million people in the United States as of the latest census, and almost seven billion world wide. Just think how hard it would be to get four men and 3 women to agree that all the women are superior to all the men in the group, by virtue of there womanhood. Lets try a wider sample like the Middle east when will gynarchy be established there before or after the stonings. Also before suggesting military force from other nations look how well things are going in Iraq and Afghanistan now or the U.S. and ailed forces. Then add in China, India, much if not all of Africa, and armed dissent in there own land. Never mind that warfare is against most female supremacy belief systems.
If gynarchy is established in one part of the world most probably in Europe or North America, they could not simply live peacefully waiting for female supremacy to take root naturally in other areas of the world. Is it unbelievable that any number of nations would use male slavery as an excuse to declare war? If not, then that the international community would impose heavy economic sanctions? When thinking about this remember that China the most populace nation in the world along with India are the fastest gr owning and most dynamic economies in the world today.

But lets say that on a large scale that our current society was changed into a female supremacy wonderland. Would it be sustainable, could it managed into the next great cultural force, its influence lasting centuries? I doubt it.
A major problem as it appears to me is that much of what gynarchy wants is to relive women of all the dirty, dangerous, and unpleasant jobs. The thing is there are allot more dirty jobs than supervisory ones. Business, government, volunteer groups just don't work any other way. This means that there has to be more men in the world than women. gynarchy does not seem to compromise on this goal, and so women not men would be the minority population, if not in numbers than in the work force. As men associated with one another they would develop a culture of there own that would become dominate, work spaces, and living spaces would be dominated by there needs. If included in this was military and police service you have also added guns to the problems of a government totally controlled by women.
This leads to a male dominated economy, that leads to what? A male dominated goverment, and world. LEaving women where, staying home and taking care of the kids? Suddenly a theoretical society where women rule suddenly becomes one that resembles Leave It To Beaver Americana.
For these reasons woemn and men must be equal outside of the home. What people do in there home is up to them. If my readers want to advance women in the world, seeking to place them forever on top is not going to work, or eve happen. Instead work to help the women in your life to achive there own success and to redress the problems of gender gaps in pay, and the treatment of women in underdevleped coutries.

Weekend Ritual

Its Saturday and its review time I kneel and wait for her to begin. This well rehearsed process from week to week is one of our weekend rituals. She starts with all of the things that have pleased her, made her feel special, or helped her. After words she explains areas that may need to be improved, and administers discipline.

This is not a time for punishment, that is given out a close to the infractions as possible and is varied. Discipline is always the same, I bend over her bed and receive between 10 and 20 swats from either a bundle of feathers, a paddle, or a leather strap. This is meant to focus me for the week ahead, and acts as a reminder of her authority over me.

Review is not a time for me to share my own thoughts. I am on occasion asked to explain myself but for the most part my wife expects and receives my polite silence. Instead we have an open door policy, I am free to come to her at anytime for any reason, and speak my mind. We both agree that problems should be addressed at the first opportunity.

Sunday is the day we always set aside time for sex. Oral sex, intercourse, or manual stimulation, Sunday is the day that it always happens. Admittedly I am not always given release on these days, but the chance to serve her, provide her with pleasure is something I can never get enough of.

Locking back up is always a special time for my Wonderful Wife and I. Sure this happens after some sexual activity and maybe an orgasm for myself. But even after the mundane maintenance of cleaning , and shaving, and so forth. For us this is a time to reconnect ever bit as deep as sex is for others. I will stand before her nude typically she is dressed but not always either way I have already got my chastity device back on. Once the lock is on she will look at me and I at her the love between us renewed.

We spend time talking discussing our feelings, the progress we have made as a couple. This is a time for us to share the joys of our relationship. This is a time to share our love with out sex or lust getting in the way. It is relaxing, and joins us in a way few couples get to experience.