Thursday, April 8, 2010

Jr. High

Way back then Junior High was important time in my life. First kiss, rated R movie, cooking for myself with more than a microwave, first date, first love, first heart break, and so less than pure firsts. Impure for lack of a better term, first wet dream, and first masturbation, witch put not surprisingly put an end to the wet dreams.

It was also when my first submissive feelings started to come out. I couldn't put a word to it then, and even now it takes me more than just one. I knew that I liked to fantasize about demanding women, spanking, and scarily (at the time) humiliation. These thoughts intensified the last summer before high school.

That summer I went to high school band camp (please no American Pie comments) where I and every other freshman was hazed. This was not Dazed and Confused hazing, there was no paddling or binge drinking. Most of it was mundane things like taking your assigned senior bags to their rooms, but one tradition that of a night of humiliating dress up. My assigned senior was a young woman, and she dressed me like a lot of male freshmen as a slutty girl.

Now I'm not a cross dresser, but a woman forcing me to do something that I can get behind. But as fourteen year old boy how was I to express or even understand these feelings. Sex Ed was functional to be nice about it, and my parents were no help, I never had "The Talk" they happily passed it of to the school.

So as my own son grows I'm left wondering and hoping that I can do a better job. I want him to be able to ask me anything and get a frank honest answerer, but I want to protect my wife's and my privacy. I want him to learn about sex in a healthy way, and then learn about all the different kinds of sex. I don't want him to be to losses his virginity to early or late, or have kids before he is ready.

I am left wondering how are children to suppose to learn safely what it is that they want in a partner. The Internet making information easily available but at the price of not knowing the person you are getting it from. Good websites are easy to find but none deal with sexual practices. Even today what is a young man to do?

Care

The cold hard Mistress is a staple of many men's submissive fantasies. But in reality nobody really wants an ambivalent women to be submissive to. Its called Loving Female Authority and the loving part is every bit as important as the authority part. After a session with my wife either discipline, tease and denial, etc I need some aftercare. Aftercare is one of those things that I can't see a cold hearted women doing this.
Aftercare takes many forms, tending to wounds, sleeping, holding one another, and talking. From my own experience I know that I have a submissive high for a few hours after a rough session in the bedroom. I can go about my normal routines with no problems, but then I drop. Usually this happens in the middle of the night, I will wake up and request my wife to hold on to me, something that she has never refuse or been upset about.

My wife as my loving dominant and owner of my sex takes her responsibility for my well being seriously. But Aftercare is not limited to the submissive, I take equal care of my wife and I too take it seriously. A big part of this in the early part of our FLR was reassurance that that we loved each other, that we respected each other, and that our relationship while changed was strong.

Aftercare is not something that is fantasized as often as the cold hard woman up top. The same way that cuddling is not the hot topic of fantasy. But these things are important, they keep people mentally and physically in shape. Kissing, whipping, sex, discipline, these things may begin bonding a couple, but it is the care that comes after that cements the relationship.