Look at the link then come back.
Ok.
Did you read it? Great.
Now I have made my feelings on children in WLM known, and yes I understand that 2bsubby's children and not kids. But Kathy herself admits they are not quite adults either. In fact a 17 year old is still a minor. Be it 17 or 20 these are times in a boy/man's life that they need a father to help them with new adult issues that they may have never faced before.
I honestly believe that if the woman you want to submit to does not accept the fact that your kids come first. If they are hers as well or the result of another marriage, that she does not deserve your submission. It would be a different with true adults, but honestly if my own son called to me for help I'm going 40 or 4, and I don't give a damn what anybody has to say about it.
Is it to much to ask that his wife be informed of his children's visits? No of course not, but seeking permission for what should be automatically assumed is selfish and petty on her part. As a mother herself she should understand the importance of a child/parent relationship, and the importance of a child feeling welcomed in his or hers parents house.
Though I'm not in a WLM, my wive and I had a "painfully clear" conversation along these lines once. She was resistant to me running back to the ancestral homegrounds during a family emergency. I said "Don't make me choose between my family and you. You won't like the result." After a gasp, she was very supportive, and has never been anything but agreeable ever since.
ReplyDeleteWe don't have children, but the same would apply. If my wife forced me to choose between her and my children, she would not like the result.
If I was in a WLM, that baseline understanding would still apply, or we would not be in the relationship.
The emotional bonds of family are ridiculously strong. I think it's foolhardy to mess with them, honestly.
I can speak for myself.If my mistress ever asked me to choose between her and my children I would always choose my children......................
ReplyDeleteAnd I will find myself another mistress................
This is why I call my blog Mutual Submission. It's not because you're submitting to your wife that she has not herself obligations towards you.
ReplyDelete