Look at the link then come back.
Did you read it? Great.
Now I have made my feelings on children in WLM known, and yes I understand that 2bsubby's children and not kids. But Kathy herself admits they are not quite adults either. In fact a 17 year old is still a minor. Be it 17 or 20 these are times in a boy/man's life that they need a father to help them with new adult issues that they may have never faced before.
I honestly believe that if the woman you want to submit to does not accept the fact that your kids come first. If they are hers as well or the result of another marriage, that she does not deserve your submission. It would be a different with true adults, but honestly if my own son called to me for help I'm going 40 or 4, and I don't give a damn what anybody has to say about it.
Is it to much to ask that his wife be informed of his children's visits? No of course not, but seeking permission for what should be automatically assumed is selfish and petty on her part. As a mother herself she should understand the importance of a child/parent relationship, and the importance of a child feeling welcomed in his or hers parents house.